Please answer the following. Please choose the best answer. Only one answer is correct.
Stupid, annoying reasons to postpone your winter-long road trip to Mexico:
- Unjust traffic ticket issued in early June that must be fought in court at some unspecified date in the future. You post your cheque in late June. DMV doesn’t deign to give you a court date for months, then finally sends you a notice stating it will be two weeks hence. It is now past Labor Day. You go to court, and you win, though they’ve still managed to ruin any chance of a summer departure date.
- It turns out that your truck, which you’ve spent a year working on, has a leaky gas tank when you take it for inspection, and you later find out that the brake lines are shot too. The inspector doesn’t like that little rust hole in the door, either. You need to spend several more, unanticipated weeks working on the truck.
- You’ve broken up with your Mexican BF, but still have hopes of reunification. You’re not sure if you should drive straight to DF and try to win him back, or just say “to heck with it” and live dangerously by dallying in the border region. In your darker moments, you seriously consider the latter.
- Homeowners Insurance company wants your old slate roof (which doesn’t leak, though does have a few cracked slates) to be fixed or unspecified dire consequences will follow. Despite your attempts to make this go away by ignoring them, they persist. By mid-autumn, you knuckle under just when roofers become as scarce as hens’ teeth and practically have to be begged to provide estimates. Some roofers stand you up multiple times. Roof is finally fixed just after Thanksgiving. You write the Vatican to alert them to the need for a new Saint of Roofing and nominate the great guy who finally showed up and fixed your roof exactly when he said he would, on the first try. Heck, they’ve already got literally THOUSANDS of saints. Why not a saint of roofing?
- The Christmas holidays draw near, and you realize you can’t go to Mexico AND California without invoking the use of a jet. Seat 34B, of said jet, to be specific, since you booked your ticket at the last minute. (Have you ever not done that?) Said jet only gets you to Atlanta, where you have to change jets to then fly to Salt Lake City. From there you finally get to Oakland, CA, ten hours after you left Boston. This was not your idea of adventure.
- You, despite being slim, fit, and not being either a competitive weightlifter nor a furniture mover, develop a hernia that requires surgery. Or at least you have a suspicious bulge that your RN friend thinks is probably a hernia, and you tend to agree as all your internet research seems to suggest as much. After a few weeks waiting for an appointment, a surgeon and medical school professor at Massachusetts General agrees with your diagnosis and schedules surgery.
- Answers #1 and #4.
- Answers #2, #4 and #6.
- All of the above, plus something that hasn’t happened yet, but will.
Of course I’m sure that all of my savvy readers picked answer number nine. Those who have been reading along faithfully already know that numbers two and three are correct. At least one reader knows about number one. And number six is a recent, unwanted development.
I’m scheduled for surgery on February 19th, assuming something else doesn’t come up. Doctor recommended laparoscopic surgery, which has the fastest recovery time, and assured me that the risks of complications is extremely low. Meanwhile, said hernia is pretty much a non-issue. No pain, no inconvenience, and Dr. said I could dally with surgery. But I decided to get it over with ASAP, so in a couple of weeks I’ll have my first real surgery ever. Woo hoo!!! (NOT!!!!)
In all seriousness, though, it’ll be done at Mass General which is either the number one or close to the number one hospital in the USA, and probably the world. So I think I’m in good hands, and my surgeon is a professor at Harvard Medical school and does hundreds of these procedures a year. Apparently this is a very common problem in no-longer-really-young men, so the surgical procedures are well-established.
Meanwhile, I’m being provided yet more time to plan my big trip south. Someday, someday I will debark. Until then, I remain vulnerable to ridiculous setbacks. Wish me good luck. I’ll need it.
P.S. We haven’t forgotten about Zacatecas, but are still working on the post.