Dateline: Dealing with an idiot full of sound and fury, signifying nothing
Due to the celebration of Constitution day on Monday, Mexico kicked off this workweek on Tuesday, groundhog day, which turns out to be completely fitting for the next installment of my quixotic efforts to find an apartment.
Last we left our expat-wannabe, was Friday night when “la mensa de las ventas,” (idiot agent) had sent him an e-mail at 8:13 PM on Friday night, claiming she could not open the encrypted file he had sent a good six hours earlier. As this was the last of many straws on an already-beleaguered camel, only good manners kept our hero from screaming epithets out loud in multiple languages in a packed restaurant, though he was severely tempted.
But after a calming three-day weekend, Tuesday morning dawned, full of promise. Unlike the prior days, the sun came out, shone and warmed the city up to a comfortable mid-70’s temperature. Birds were singing and flowers were blooming. What could go wrong?
I texted María, the agent, in the morning and reminded her that I was eager to finish up with the apartment deal. She texted me back in fairly short order that she was in a meeting with her bosses until 3:00, but that she would call me then, and wished me a good day. With the prompt response and cordial ending, my hope was renewed. Surely we’d get this deal done today.
Since I didn’t want to give her any shred of an excuse to blame me for delays, I decided to go to Banamex to make the $1,000MXN (peso, about $55 USD) deposit requested late on Friday. After standing in line for about 25 minutes (first time for me in a bank branch in about 25 years), I finally approached a teller. I told her what I needed to do, and then whipped out my cell phone showing the e-mail from the agent with all of the relevant account information. I was not going to make any transcription errors. Nope. I handed the phone to the teller.
She read the numbers a couple of times and keyed them in, but looked frustrated. Finally, I offered to read them off to her while she typed. Still nothing. So she called her supervisor. He tried the numbers several times, but to no avail. I asked if they could look up the account by name. Nope. Then he turned to me and said it was an invalid account number. I said, “You know, I’m really not surprised. Sorry to waste your time.” I then turned on my heel, and laughed all the way out of the bank. Of course! This comedy could not have proceeded in any other way, could it?
So I sent María an e-mail explaining the situation. Then more hilarity ensued. I promptly got a reply back from her: “It’s impossible that the bank information is incorrect because that’s the account that all the other tenants deposit their rent in. By the way, the owners want a six-month minimum lease, too.” What?!?! We’d already spent two weeks talking about the fact that I wanted a 5 month lease, though six is not a deal-breaker. However, my already-thin patience wasn’t having a great day either.
I shot back a reply:
“What can I say? I didn’t copy down the account numbers you sent me. I brought my cell phone to the bank and showed them the e-mail YOU sent me on the screen of the phone. The teller tried to bring up the account, but couldn’t. Then she called her supervisor, who tried and failed too. The supervisor then told me it was an invalid account number. Perhaps you just mis-typed. It happens to us all. In any case, please call me so we can settle all the details including the term of the lease.
Many thanks,
Kim.”
This e-mail went out at approximately 3:39 PM. Still no promised 3:00PM phone call from the agent. I called both her office and her cell. No answer on either. I sent a text message to her phone. Radio silence. At this point, I seriously considered going out to buy a can of spray paint in order to write on the front of the building how I really felt. But common sense prevailed and instead, I decided ‘the heck with this idiot,’ and began to look for a new place.
And the goddess, who seemingly had tired of this little game as much as I, decided to throw me a bone in the form of a furnished one-bedroom apartment in Roma Sur, right around the corner from a penthouse that I’d been lusting after for a while. And this penthouse had inspired me to already have done a ton of due diligence on the neighborhood, so I knew it’d be a good place to live. I phoned the number, and within a few minutes, I had a meeting to see the place not a half-hour later.
Looks like my luck may be changing. But I’m not going to write anything else about this place until I have a signed lease, lest I jinx it.
Saludos!
garydenness said:
Fortunately, I never had to hunt for a flat. But your experience translates perfectly well into most aspects of living in Mexico. Siempre manana.
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Kim G said:
Hola Gary! I’m working on a next post. Without spoiling it, let’s just say that things have taken a turn for the better. Saludos!
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Cynthia said:
This was very cathartic reading. I have been sitting at my desk for two days trying to straighten out auto-billing payments on an apartment. I thought I was the only one dealing with “unhelpful” people. You win!
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Kim G said:
Hola Cynthia! Auto-billing, hahaha. Here in Mexico, cash is handed over every month, either to the landlord, or to a bank (after the privilege of waiting in line, haha). But yeah, unhelpful people abound, even when it’s their job to be the opposite. Saludos!
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Tancho said:
For some reason I will never understand, but transactions in general are not important for most Mexicans.
Yes it is a generalization, but experience in hundreds of dealings down here, wherter they get done or not, simply ends in a shoulder shrug.
A lot of stuff, win or lose just get shrugged or end with ” As God Wishes” so having a tenant or not, selling an item or not, getting a job or not, is never a big deal for them like it is for us.
My theory is that we were raised with the motivation of getting ahead and working for an end reward. Down here, that is not the issue. Living day by day, just having enough tortilla and beans to survive another day, ( not two or more ) is enough and satisfies them.
One should always have a plan “B” and in many cases a plan “C” so that when plan “A” and “B” blow up which they statistically do, you are still set.
Where do you think Que Sera, Sera came from?
But that’s just my opinion….
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Kim G said:
Hola Tancho! Well, there’s a ton of difference between Mexicans, just like there is between Americans. That said, I think you are onto something. Down here it’s much more of a live-for-the-moment culture. In the USA we tend to be fixated on the future, sometimes to the detriment of the present.
Saludos and thanks for your comments!
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Robert Gill said:
Good luck in your search. I still feel she was stringing you and God only knows how many others along. Warning! She will reappear in your life; look out.
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Kim G said:
Hola Robert! I think you’re right about her reappearing. Frankly, I think it was a week ago that I got the strong feeling that I should just dump her. Unfortunately, I didn’t, but my gut was right. However, I think I’ve found a very good situation, so it should all end well. Saludos and thanks for stopping by!
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Charles said:
Well amigo…this is starting to sound like the Mexican version of “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure!” It is good thing that Marimensa is no longer in the picture…she would have been a nightmare to deal with…and it is also a good thing that your deposit was not accepted at the bank…I doubt seriously that you would ever get it back.
I have finally learned that everything happens for the right reason…whether it’s good or bad…but trusting the journey can be very frustrating at times…especially here in Mexico. Yesterday we had a list of 3 things to get done…and we accomplished only 1 of the 3…which I have come to accept as a pretty good batting average down here… Fabian was frustrated also…and he is a native!
Hope the new place goes through smoothly…and don’t forget to thank the universe for pulling Marimensa out of your path!
Saludos y buena suerte…
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Kim G said:
Hola Charles! You know, after the bank couldn’t take my deposit, I felt the same way: 1,000 pesos saved! And it’s not enough money for it to have been worth my trouble to try to get back either. As for “Marímensa,” Let’s just say that I’ve strung her along a bit too now. After all, turnabout is fair play. She should just be thankful I DIDN’T spray paint her building as I almost certainly would have gotten away with it, given the general ineffectiveness of the police here. Saludos and thanks for all your comments!
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Felipe Zapata said:
This drama is funny but not surprising at all. Best to continue your search, as you are doing. Good luck with the new option. We’ll be there at the end of the month and will need a tour.
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Kim G said:
Hola Felipe! I don’t want to ruin the next installment, but looking for another place seems to have been the right approach. And I’d LOVE to give you a tour. Saludos!
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ladyofthecakes said:
Yup, time to ditch La Marímensa.
Good luck with the new agents 🙂
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Kim G said:
Hola Simone! Marímensa! I like that! Thank you and saludos!
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johncalypso said:
Have to laugh at your not jinxing things. Anita does this. I explain to her I simply cannot buy into the idea that mere mentioning of a situation might impact it. Now you – come on dude – let us keep all this in the realm of real world 😉 Seriously hope (I will throw that out there) things get better for you.
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Kim G said:
Hola John! You know, I’m don’t seriously believe that I might jinx things. But my blog posts generally run toward “too long,” and there’s a separate story for the next post. So really, I just didn’t want to jinx the next post. Saludos and I genuinely appreciate your sympathies. Saludos!
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Barbara Lane said:
I so understand your frustration! Yet… (there’s always a yet…) – given we are always where we are meant to be at any given moment, and given we may think timing sucks…yet timing is always in perfect accord with The Higher Ups…I believe that you are being led to the place you are meant to rent. It may be this one, it may not. However, the delays, the twists, the turns….there is a reason, they are all part of the journey. Too, understanding is not a prerequisite. Even more frustrating! If you can relax a bit and go with the flow (expand rather than contract) it will make things less stressful – and soon you will find yourself in the place you are meant to be. Meanwhile it makes for a good story, yes? And good stories are such treasures.
P.S. Remind me of this in a few months when it’s my turn to look for a rental.
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Kim G said:
Hola Barbara! I think you’re right about the path, at least potentially. Stay tuned for the next edition of this twisted tale. And I’m remaining (uncharacteristically) “mellow” about the whole process. So yes, fate will lead me to the right apartment. Saludos and thanks for your support!
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florentinogutierrezr said:
I just can’t believe this idiot agent! It is just like the property owners hired the India María especially to take care of gringos — and good care she took. As a sudden burst of laughter dies away, my mind is clearing and I’m beginning to think she just didn’t want you to have that apartment and set out to conceive every imaginable obstacle to keep you off. She deserved to have the word IDIOT written on her face with bright red spray paint. I’m sure the next apartment will be the one. Hugs.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_India_Mar%C3%ADa
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Kim G said:
Hola Tino! You know, I kept thinking the same thing–that she just didn’t want to rent me the apartment. But then she kept coming back at strategic intervals, leading me on with her siren song. In fact, last Wednesday, I almost agreed to another apartment, going on your theory. But in the end I backed out as it was just too dark and dismal for me. Lúgubre, you might say. Anyway, I think I’ve solved my problem. Meanwhile, I’m not answering texts or emails from la mensa de las ventas y rentas. Saludos and thanks for stopping by!
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Kim G said:
I just read the Wikipedia entry on La India María. It’s an insult to La India María to compare her with La Mensa de las Ventas.
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imaginemerida said:
Hunting for apartments is not much different than hunting for romantic partners. High hopes, dashed hopes, hurt feelings, rinse repeat. At least that’s what I remember from the 1990s. Stay strong!
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Kim G said:
Hola Lee! You know, that’s a VERY good analogy. The only difference is that you don’t have to worry about apartments changing their minds because you’re too excited about them, haha. Saludos and thanks for your comment!
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William said:
I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the deal for the apartment in Roma Sur goes through quick and smoothly. To call María a “mensa” is being too kind.
¡Buena suerte!
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Kim G said:
Hola Bill! Yes, “mensa” is probably too kind a word. But I’m basically a nice guy, even when encabronado. Saludos and thanks for your support!
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Christine Dubois said:
Wow! I hope you do rent the second apartment because the woman you were dealing with does not deserve her job let alone any commission she might receive.
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Kim G said:
Hola Christine! I’m with you on all counts, haha. I’m thinking of writing a letter to the owner of that building simply explaining my experience. That should be sufficient revenge, no? And I’m not really a vengeful guy, but I feel sorry for both the landlord and the next prospective tenant. Hopefully they get the place rented before the end of the summer. Saludos!
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Unconfirmed Bachelorette said:
I’m exhausted! But this is hilarious. Buena suerte con apartamento de dos, Kim!
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Kim G said:
Hola Ella! I had to laugh, right? Otherwise it would be too stressful. But I think door #2 will prove to be the right place in many respects. Thanks for the kind comment! Saludos!
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