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Dateline: Ajijic, Jalisco
The conclusion of a long, crazed search
Though distracted by the threat of imminent immolation over the summer, I haven’t lost sight of my main goal: finding a new home for my mother. So in June, my old friend Alex and I boarded an Alaska Airlines flight from San José, California to Guadalajara. Final destination: Gringo Paradise, AKA, Ajijic, Jalisco, about an hour south.
Oddly, Ajijic is one of the few (many?) places in Mexico that I’ve never seen. In 2014, it fell victim to the failure of good intentions. During my 2014 Mexican Road Trip, I spent an entire week in Guadalajara, but never visited Ajijic. I wanted to, but by the end of my trip, I was just too tired. Plus, I’ve never been all that keen on settling into a Gringo Chinatown somewhere in Mexico. To me, one of the big charms of being S.O.B. is being in a foreign country, with foreign customs, a foreign language, and hot foreign friends. If I want to speak English with a bunch of older Americans I can just go to a bingo game here, stateside. OK, maybe that’s too harsh, but you get the picture.
Despite all that, the pull of Ajijic proved irresistible. The promise? Cheap, or at least reasonable assisted living facilities for an older, non-Spanish-speaking Gringa, in this case, my nearly 90-year-old mother. Not to mention the fact that there’s tons of good, cheap restaurants, low housing costs, low food costs, tons of cheap berries (lakeside is a major growing region), and a fantastic social infrastructure for Gringos. Exhibit “A” for this is The Lake Chapala Society, a sixty-something year old institution that provides social services, an English library, meeting places for affiliated clubs, help with immigration issues, TED Talks, computer clinics, a lovely garden with a restaurant, and just about anything else a stranger in a strange land might need. Oh, and Ajijic also has a nearly perfect climate, topped off with a tendency to rain mostly at night. Camelot itself would be hard-pressed to compete as such a great place to retire.
Alex and I arrived with a tight schedule and a to-do list. Fortunately, Alex had already been to Ajijic a time or two, having helped a married couple of lesbians move there a little more than a year earlier. And I had, after some considerable work, compiled a list of seven assisted living facilities that we were to check out, to see what might be best for my mother.
Let me just tell you, checking out rest homes in a town you don’t know is anything but restful. Over five days, we saw the seven facilities which ranged from the tawdry and depressing, to a place that I was sorely tempted to check myself into. The latter is a beautiful, large house, situated high on the Sierra de San Juan Cosalá, with breathtaking views of Lake Chapala and the far shore. But it wouldn’t likely have been good for my mother, with only seven residents, and some concerns about the owner’s ability to carry on alone after the recent death of her husband.
After checking out all seven places, we flew back to California to report back to mom. Ultimately we settled on three top candidates to show her personally. All of them had private rooms, nice facilities with patio gardens, and mostly English-speaking staffs, and all English-speaking residents. Prices ranged from about $1,500 USD/month to $1,800. Pretty much everything is included: room; board; cleaning; laundry; taxi service into town for shopping, events, and the like; daily activities; and medicine management. As for the latter, it’s quite a comforting thing. Over about the last six months, mom has become inconsistent about taking her regular meds, despite me loading one of those weekly pill minders for her. And I worry that she might overdose on acetaminophen, taking some tablets for pain and then ten minutes later forgetting she’s taken them, and then taking them again because they’re not yet working.
In late August, the three of us piled back into a plane and flew to Ajijic to show Mom the top contenders. Fortunately, my top pick became her top pick, as she liked the staff, the facility, and one of the residents who we had befriended on our first visit.
While there in June, Alex and I met Marjorie, a woman in her early 80’s, and the three of us immediately had hit it off. Marjorie had worked as a trainer for IBM in the 50’s and 60’s, back when women mostly didn’t do such things. Later she and her husband moved to Ajijic where they became involved in Democrats Abroad among other projects. About three years ago, she and her husband moved to the facility when he required more intensive care, and sadly, he died not too long afterward.
But since we liked her so much, we decided to invite Marjorie to lunch with my mother during the late August visit, and during lunch, completely unprompted, she told us a story about the owner of the facility, Dolores. Apparently one of Marjorie’s friends who didn’t live in the facility found herself in a medical emergency. Marjorie asked Dolores what she recommended. As it turns out, Dolores dropped everything, drove the friend to a hospital in Guadalajara, arranged all the medical care, contacted the friend’s family, and generally just manged the situation, and managed it well.
For my mother and me, this sealed the deal as we felt like she’d be in really good hands, and we decided that this was where we’d move mom. Now we just needed to finalize the details. Right after Labor Day we flew back to Redding and began to pack. While there are myriad boring details that subsequently transpired, to make a long story short, on January 11th of this year, Alex, my mother, and I all flew to Ajijic and moved mom into her new home that night.
Ever since, I’ve been living here with my new friend Lisa in West Ajijic, who Alex helped to move down nearly 2 years ago. Mom is happy in her new home, and I’m delighted to be beginning to have my life back again. There’s lots more to recount, but it’s looking like we’ve got a happy ending to my mother’s difficult journey post the death of my stepfather, her long-time partner.
Saludos and thanks for stopping by!
For various reasons, I haven’t named any of the facilities. Obviously I don’t wish to reveal my mother’s location. And in other cases I don’t wish to cast any aspersions on the homes we didn’t select. If you are curious about what I’ve found, I’d be happy to share some information via e-mail. So just leave a comment, and I’ll get back to you.
Hector said:
Dear Kim, I would very much like to receive a copy of the information you collected concerning elder care facilities in the area around Lake Chapala in Mexico.
I am researching now, for my mom. 🙂
I am going to keep reading your blog — a lot of great information there!
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Kim G said:
Hola Hector,
I sent you an email to the address you put in for the comment. Best of luck, Kim G
P.S. If you comment in the future (much appreciated), with the same name, email, etc, your comment will not be moderated.
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Laurel Henry said:
Can we connect outside of Facebook? I’m in the same situation, my husband needs assisted living and I need a driver and a place to live as well. We live in Oregon currently and do not want assisted living here. We are both retired educators and want to live the rest of our lives in serenity and peace.
Thank you in advance
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Kim G said:
Hi Laurel,
I’ve emailed you and removed your email address from the public comment. I also know someone who could be a driver. Cheers, Kim
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cactusjenn said:
Help! We live in Jocotepec the last three years, but hubby is in need of a a bit more sleep these days. We would like any names you have? Gracias, jenn and richard
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Kim G said:
Hola Jenn & Richard, I sent you an email to address you used to make the comment. Hope this helps. Cheers, Kim G
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Nohemi real said:
I have a great nurse with amazing references. She is very reliable with lots of experience and the most important thing she loves her profession.
333 497 2553.
She speaks 70% English.
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Kim G said:
Hi Noemi,
Thanks for the info. For others reading this comment, I have done nothing to verify any of the above. As such I cannot endorse this nurse in any way, and I accept no liability for any actions or inactions committed by the above. You must do your own due diligence. I have double-checked with the commenter that it’s OK to post the phone number. Cheers, Kim
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Brian Dalziel said:
Dear Kim, I would very much like to receive a copy of the information you collected concerning elder care facilities in the area around Lake Chapala in Mexico. Thank you for your assistance.
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Kim G said:
Sent. Sorry this took so long. Cheers, Kim
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Janet Levin said:
please send your Ajijic/Chapala assisted living spreadsheet, gracias
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Kim G said:
Sent. Sorry this took so long. Cheers, Kim
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ClaraL said:
Hi Kim, I tried to send an email to your yahoo account which bounced back. My 81 y/o mom has lived in Ajijic and wants me to go tour some elder care homes for her there as she’s transitioning into needing more care than her current independent living place provides. Could you email me more specifics about what you found in your search? I would so appreciate it! Big thanks! Clara
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Kim G said:
Hi Clara, I’ve emailed you. Best of luck with the search.
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Mary Ruzich said:
Hello Kim, I live in Chapala and I am wanting to visit the available nursing homes here. Do you have a listing of those that you visited? If so, and if easy, I would love to have that listing. Or possibly tell me where you got the listings. I enjoyed your story and i’m Happy you found a great place for you mom. BTW, I am most recently from the Medford, OR area so found interest in you posts re: the Carr Fire. Gracias.
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Kim G said:
Hola Mary, I’m in Zacatecas at the moment, but when I get back tonight I’ll send you the spreadsheet I have with the information i collected. That said, my first step was to look up all the ads in the Ojo del Lago. Thanks for the comment and I’m glad you enjoyed the fire coverage. Saludos.
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Cathie said:
Congratulations on finding a place for you and your mom. I understand how difficult it is as my parents are 91 and 93 and currently living in different places as one has Alzheimers and one does not. I hope you are able to relax and enjoy life knowing your mom is safe. I thought we would be living in SMA by now but it is delayed. I don’t think I have commented on your blog but I enjoy reading it and want to thank you.
Cathie
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Kim G said:
Hola Cathie, well perhaps more than anyone I can understand how difficult it is to actually move to Mexico. I’ve been trying for years, and in 2016 tried in earnest, and I’m still living elsewhere. Hopefully 2019 will be my year to make some progress. I’m sorry to hear about your folks. During my initial visits to homes, I met a couple where the wife was in the home because the husband could no longer care for her. The husband was visiting and the wife was crying because she couldn’t leave with him. It was very sad. So I feel for you. Best of luck with your plans. Saludos, Kim
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Nancy Dardarian said:
Hi Kim! I am so happy that things have worked out for your mom and love that her being settled here probably means we’ll be able to get together regularly! Have fun in Zacatecas and let me know when you get back so we can have you and Lisa over. xoxo Nancy
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Kim G said:
Hola Nancy! Thanks for the comment. We should be back from Zacatecas tonight, though it’s tough to leave-there are still several more museums we’d like to see. Saludos and thanks for stopping by.
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babsofsanmiguel said:
THRILLED to hear you are so near and that your MOM found a place that she is happy with. It has been a long journey for both of you to reach this point. You deserve big praise for your diligence and persistence in accomplishing such a difficult task! Now, your new season of your life begins as well. Can’t wait to see you and hope you’ll jump on the ETN bus and get off here in SMA for a visit! It is a 4 1/2 hour, very comfortable bus ride. Lots of us want to see you here……….Big HUgS! I think you will love being near Guadalajara or living in Guada – I know it well and it has a vibrant “scene”.
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Kim G said:
Hola Barbara, thank you SO much for the kind wishes. Indeed I’d love to get to SMA to see you and others, and of course to enjoy the wonderful place that is SMA. I’m currently in Zacatecas with my friend Lisa and we are having a great time. Saludos and thanks for stopping by.
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Theresa said:
Several of my Merida friends, have family members in assisted living in Ajijic and they are all very happy with the arrangement.It’s nice that you found a place for your mom.
I so wish my parents would consider doing this. My dad is adamant that he hates Mexico (based on his experiences in the 70s doing business in DF) and won’t live there. My mom has been peppering her speech with Spanish lately and she does so much better with stimulation. Their quality of life would improve immensely, I’d even move from Merida, if they would do it.
So instead, I am spending way more time in California than ever, not that I begrudge them.
regards,
Theresa
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Kim G said:
Hola Theresa, It’s amazing how prejudiced some people can be about Mexico. My father and stepmother seem convinced that they’d be gunned down the minute they stepped out of the airport in CDMX. That despite my having survived multiple trips. But now that I know Ajijic a bit, it seems like an ideal place for Gringos who don’t speak Spanish. Nice to hear from you. Saludos y un abrazo.
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Steve Cotton said:
Nice to have you back on the internet highway.
I had hoped to be able to get up your way before this weekend,but I have become an invalid with either a cold or the flu. And next week my presence is required here because the solar project begins. I hope it is complete in time for me to get up your way.
I, of course, am very interested in the results of your investigations. Mom is still interested in moving down here. How are you handling the visa issue?
Hope to see you soon.
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Kim G said:
Hola Steve,
I’m sorry to miss you. On the other hand, it wouldn’t take much to persuade me and my friend, Lisa, to come visit you. At the moment we are in Zacatecas, where we expect to remain until Monday or so. As for my mother’s visa, it is in process and some time next year, we’ll convert it to a permanente. So far no lawyers have been needed. And the gal at the Chapala immigration office is both very nice and speaks beautiful English. I’m sorry you’re under the weather. Get well soon. Saludos!
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redshoesarebetterthanbacon said:
That’s fantastic news that you’ve resettled and are back in Mexico, where you belong.
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Kim G said:
Hola Ms Shoes, Indeed, I’m delighted to be here, even more so now that I’m in Zacatecas with a friend. Thanks for your support and comment here. Saludos.
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WoZ (@WoZ53) said:
Such a great result for you both. I know first hand the hard decisions one has to make in caring for their parents. I just lost my mom in December. Some of my parents happiest times were when they were living in San Felipe in Baja and Guadalajara is such a beautiful city. Wishing you all the best while down there.
PS: great weather for top down driving. 🙂
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Kim G said:
Hola Woz! Thanks for the wonderful comment. I’m sorry about your mom. I’m dreading the day either of my parents go. But taking care of my mother has been an amazing lesson in enjoying my health and vitality while I still can. And some day I’m dying to drive my SLK through Mexico. Saludos and thanks for stopping by.
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Felipe Zapata said:
Good news all around. I send best wishes to you and your mother!
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Kim G said:
Hola Felipe, thanks for the kind wishes. Saludos
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Barbara Lane said:
So happy she’s settled in – what a move for someone her age! More power to her! And so happy you’re back in Mexico (and here, writing again!), and well on your way to reclaiming your own life You do, and have done, so well caring for her. Makes me wonder what will happen to those of us who don’t have children when we need a Kim in our lives.Bless you both – I hope this is the beginning of a grand adventure all round!
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Kim G said:
Hola Barbara, it’s great to be getting my life back. My friend Lisa and I are off to Zacatecas today. Or maybe Guanajuato. We’ll see. And yes, I wonder who might take care of me when I’m old. At this point I’m trying to stay as healthy as possible. Saludos and thanks for your comment.
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Barbara Lane said:
Please let me know when you get to San Miguel! I was hoping you might settle here.
: )
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Kim G said:
Hola Barbara, while I’m unlikely to settle in SMA, I’d be delighted to meet you there some time. Saludos.
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Neil said:
Thanks for sharing this. I have wondered about Mexico as a location for assisted living. I’ve had to work on this for both my mother (in northern CA – Sonoma County) and my mother-in-law here in Olympia, WA, where my wife and I live. Always useful to get perspectives on other locations. And i always enjoy your posts – been a long time lurker!
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Kim G said:
Hola Neil! Thanks for the comment. I definitely appreciate your switch from lurker to commenter. Keep up the good work, haha. Let me know if you want some info on the specific places. I created a spreadsheet with the basic data on each place plus some comments. Hopefully you’ll find something that works for your mother and/or mother-in-law. Saludos!
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Deborah S. said:
Having walked a few miles in your shoes with both my parents and in-laws, I applaud your efforts and your sincere desire to do right by your mom. Glad to hear that there’s some resolution in your life. Feel free to come visit us in Guadalajara when you need a change of scenery!
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Kim G said:
Hola Deborah! Thanks for the kind comment. Indeed I have worried and fretted about this process. But the fact that my mother is happy is the best news possible. I’d love to meet up in GDL. I’ll email you later. Saludos and thanks for stopping by!
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