Dateline: At the intersection of two blown gaskets
Sometimes you just have to be a total asshole. I’ve been waiting to close on my property deal pretty much since mid-November. That’s friggin’ six months ago!!! As I’ve written, my visa is due to expire on 3/30, and given the need to test negative for covid pre-flight, I don’t want to push it. I had a ticket to leave today, the 15th, but last week I pushed it out to the 23rd as nothing seemed to be happening in terms of getting this deal done. “As a last resort, we can do a purchase and sale contract,” my lawyer assured me last week. But I didn’t want to do that. I wanted a close with escrituras in hand afterward. I also figured that whatever leverage I had in this process would evaporate immediately if I signed a contract and made an advance payment. This was to be avoided at all costs.
Today I basically lost my patience. Like all of a sudden. Literally one minute I was fine, the next minute I was steaming mad. I was out sitting on a bench along Avenida Insurgentes, and decided that when I got home, I was going to email all the concerned parties that either we close the deal Monday or I was going to walk. Not only was I annoyed at how ridiculously slowly things were going, there’s been quite a few changes in the world in the past six months. I’m fairly convinced that we are heading into a global recession, and frankly, I think houses here will likely be cheaper in a year. Also, the spreadsheet where I was tracking houses of interest has only sold 23% of the properties in the last 6 months. The rest still sit, forlorn, a few with teensy price reductions. The seller of “my” houses needs me more than I need them. There’s plenty of houses out there and there are going to be more. Frankly, all of this has made me a bit nervous, but I intend to keep my word. At least if we can close very soon.
Interestingly enough my attorney managed to message me just about 20 minutes later. I was a bit calmer until I read his message. Among other things, the notaría would need a copy of my birth certificate. “Birth certificate!” I practically screamed, and blew yet another gasket. How many things are wrong with this seemingly simple request? Well, for one, it comes at literally the last minute. Why didn’t that pathetic notaría tell me six months ago? Two, I’m a friggin’ foreigner. You think I travel with such a thing? I don’t even have a copy of my birth certificate in Boston. The last time I needed it was the late 70’s when I turned 16 and applied for a driver’s license. And given that I live in Boston but was born in California, I can only imagine what a hassle it would be to get a copy of my birth certificate even if I were at home.
“We need to talk,” I texted my lawyer. When I got him on the phone I explained the ridiculousness of the above. I said that if they needed a birth certificate, the deal was off. I also told him that if we didn’t get it done on Monday or sooner, the deal was off. “Ok, I’ll handle it,” he told me. I’ve probably been a somewhat difficult client, and he clearly didn’t want to talk further, so he said he’d call the notaria immediately, and hurried off the line.
Would I really walk? I was definitely mad enough to do so. Also, even though I am supposedly getting a good deal on these houses, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was having second thoughts. Both places will need a top-to-bottom remodeling. Over the last six months, the amount of work needed has really sunk in. Also, there’s less of a tradition of do-it-yourself here, and I think these houses would be difficult to sell to any other buyer. Which means I’m stuck with them until I remodel them. And what I said above about the economy seems more true than ever. There’s a ton of houses here, and it is in no way a seller’s market.
About 40 minutes later, I hadn’t heard anything from my lawyer, and I was still stewing. So I said, “Eff it,” and threw down the gauntlet. I composed a letter to all the concerned parties (my lawyer, the notaria, and the seller) basically saying, “Look, I made you an offer in November. And while it wasn’t written into my offer, it was understood that we’d do this deal in a reasonable timeframe. That time is up. Either we close Monday or we have no deal.” I hit “send” then texted Marco, the owner’s son. “I sent you an urgent email. You need to read it and act on it immediately.”
About 20 minutes later, Marco messaged me and wanted to talk. We spoke for about a half hour. Turns out the sellers are just as frustrated with everything as I am. They don’t feel like the notaria is very helpful either, and apparently the notaria is asking them for documents they’ve already delivered. (Where have I heard that before?) “I’m sorry I have to be a dick, but this seems like the only way things are getting done. You need to go and camp out in your notaria’s office if you want this deal to go through,” I told him. “I’ve done everything I can, and she ignores me anyway. Tell her that if this doesn’t get done Monday, she’s getting no fee, and you all are starting from zero.” Marco understood and we ended the conversation cordially. Maybe he even understood that I probably wasn’t really going to walk away from the deal. But I was serious, and at this point have almost no money on the line, nor a signed contract. I have almost nothing to lose by walking away, maybe a few thousand dollars, which I’d be happy to sacrifice at this point.
So what happened next? About an hour later I got a message from my lawyer. “We’re scheduled to close Tuesday. Monday is a holiday, so Tuesday is the best we can do” he wrote. If I were a jerk deep in my heart, I’d say, “Monday or nothing.” But I didn’t.
I still kind of can’t believe it. And given that my postponed flight is Wednesday, this is as down to the wire as it gets. They’d better be able to pull this off. Because I may well carry through my threat.
I’m not really a jerk at heart, but I’m learning quickly.
colm54 said:
I’ve been watching from the side lines for some time and I have to admire your patience with all the shenanigans. Several years ago after my father died I was attempting to sell my family home in Ireland, some work had been done on the home and an extension had been done on the back some forty years before but wasn’t registered at the time by the builder apparently. So in theory not built to code nor permits applied for or taxes paid on the larger dwelling. The first real estate agent spent three months dragging his feet on the issue, I then had to get an engineer to approve the original work done in the 60’s and that too was like drawing teeth. I was there for four months and was preparing the house for sale, repairing gutters and packing up my brothers stuff. Eventually I got a second realtor who expedited the sale in no time and everything was ironed out and sold quickly. Ireland is not unlike Mexico in many ways paper records have yet to be computerized so everything is still in the Middle Ages.
Canada on the other hand is insane, four years ago we put our house up for sale on a Thursday night the realtor popped a sign outside about 11 pm, a guy came by and took photos another took measurements. The info was posted on the net and we had four offers on Sunday. The paperwork was all finalized by Tuesday and we had to be out within the week, usually at the end of the month. It happened so fast, our feet hardly touched the ground. We’ve used that realtor four times and each time it was very quick. We’ve never been homeless so fast!
Seriously Kim I’m delighted that it has all fallen into place for you finally and I’m sure we will all be hanging on to your every word through all your trials and tribulations with bated breath as you plumb the depths of Mexican bureaucracy moulding your home into your vision of it.
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Kim G said:
Hola Colm! Wow, what an ordeal in Ireland! And the Canada sale must make you wonder if you underpriced your house. Thanks for your comment. Indeed it will be a trial moving on next to the remodeling stage. Saludos!
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Alfredo Lanier said:
Lest you drive yourself nuts, you’re going to have to make some concessions to the different cosmology and biorhythms that govern life in Mexico.
Stew once said that it’s a lucky thing that we’re both retired so that we have ample time to follow through when even seemingly routine transactions in Mexico turn into weeks and often months of waiting. You just keep at it, like you have, but don’t expect any quick responses.
When we bought the land here and hired some guys to fence it in, a couple of poor schmoes showed up and started digging holes in the rocky, seemingly impenetrable ground by hand using posthole diggers. I asked, “why don’t we rent a gas-powered digger to make the job go faster and easier?” Without blinking, the leader of the two looked at me and replied, “Why? What’s the rush?”. The implicit assumption was, “Why should we spend money on a machine, when we got guys getting paid practically nothing to do the digging, no matter how long it takes?” Or you can’t impose American expectations of efficiency on things here.
The covid pandemic has provided bureaucrats of all types the perfect excuse to slow things down or stop altogether. Remember the legal dispute we had over the land here? It was “settled” about a year ago but we’re still waiting for the revised escritura.
Peace be with you.
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Kim G said:
Hola Al, Good points all. I have an American friend here who says I’m uniquely unsuited to living in Mexico, and he may well have a point. Perhaps amazingly, I’m super-mellow compared to what I was like in my youth. And being retired too does give me loads of time, but my visa expiration has put a deadline on things. And so I had to push on the house transaction. Because no one else seemed to have a deadline anywhere in mind. And so far, it seems to have worked. There’s one potential glitch, which is that international wire transfers take a couple of days, something I recently found out. I had thought they were done within a matter of hours, but that’s wrong. Frankly, it seems hard to believe they are so slow, but that’s what my bank tells me. So I paid the notaría Friday, but they won’t see the money until Tuesday. I hope Monday’s bank holiday here doesn’t throw a wrench in the process. Anyway, your point is good, but I’m also going to have to be who I am. I’m sure many moments of hilarity will ensue during my remodeling as this characteristic comes up against more Mexican characteristics.
As for the lack of machinery, that’s why this country isn’t rich. Everyone spends WAY more time doing things than is necessary. Until that changes (and it likely won’t any time soon, as it appears to be cultural), Mexico will be stuck as a lower-middle income economy.
Cheers and thanks for your comment.
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Steve Cotton said:
Jorge Castañeda would disagree with you that the Mexican aversion to perceived inefficiency is cultural. In Mañana Forever?, he compared processes in Mexico with the way Mexican-Americans have successfully adopted northern ways — to the mutual benefit of all.
What we perceive may be more structural than cultural. And, in the end, a lot what draws us to Mexico is a result of the structural attitude that time is not as important as relationships and success is not as important as contentment. In the end, I have learned to accept that the world will not bend to my will — or even budge in that direction. And I am more content because of it.
Of course, that does not mean that I have become a patient driver.
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Kim G said:
Hola Steve,
Well, I’m under a certain amount of deadline pressure, given my visa status. (About to run out a week.) As for Jorge Castañeda, well, he views things from a Mexican perspective, so things might well not appear as inefficient to him as to the average gringo retired businessperson. But today is my close, and it looks like all systems are set to “go.” Wish me luck! Thanks for stopping by.
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Kim G said:
P.S.
The covid pandemic has provided bureaucrats of all types the perfect excuse to slow things down or stop altogether. Remember the legal dispute we had over the land here? It was “settled” about a year ago but we’re still waiting for the revised escritura.
Yes, I do remember your land dispute. And yes, the covid pandemic has provided all kinds of ridiculous excuses for the bureaucracy. Like my permission to buy property: pre-covid they had 5 business days to respond. But this was suspended due to covid, so it took 70-something days. Ridiculous. Also, the government closed the Tlatelolco archeological site due to covid last summer when we were in semáforo verde, never mind the fact that it’s outdoors. The term pinches huevones comes to mind.
I hope you get your escritura soon.
Cheers!
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Steve Cotton said:
Keep the patience level high. I caved in on what I thought was a minor point — and it is still haunting me. Fight on, MacDuff.
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Kim G said:
Well, here, six months later, I’m still (nominally) in the deal, so I guess I’ve been patient. Up until Tuesday, at least. My lawyer contacted me yesterday and said things were advancing, so maybe we do have a deal after all. As for caving, I don’t think so. At this point the seller has ZERO leverage and desperately needs the money. Cheers and thanks for stopping by.
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~Arion said:
Well, as the Brits say, “Bully for you!”
My fingers are crossed for you! ~Arion
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Kim G said:
The notaría hasn’t replied to the email I sent yesterday asking when and where we are going to meet to do the closing. I feel sorry for the sellers, but I may well walk if the notaría can’t pull it off. Cheers and thanks for your comment.
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Theresa said:
I got my RFC online but I have a CURP ( unique id number) because I have a residente permanente. That actually caused me a problem with a bank because my RFC and CURP were issued under a different last name, a problem you won’t have. My issue easily solved because I have the original documents ( never throw away official docs and make at least 2 color copies!).
If your mom dies in Mexico you will need it to bury her etc. If you marry you might need it.
Getting a birth certificate and apostile from California is pretty easy, but the apostile may take awhile. Other states have different procedures.
Logic doesn’t seem to apply where legal documents are concerned in Mexico. It doesn’t even seem to always apply in the USA.
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Kim G said:
I can’t bury my mother without an RFC? Wow, you’re the first person to tell me that. What do they do if I don’t get one? Keep her above ground?
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Theresa said:
Oops, I was unclear! Not an RFC. You will probably need a birth certificate that proves you are her son. Plus her’s. At least that was my experience with my husband, I had to prove my relationship. The fun part for me was that my birth certificate and my marriage license were slighty different. I needed both our birth certificates and our marriage license.
Long story short, they put my maiden name on the death certificate and INM wouldn’t accept it. Actually, it was 2 long stories.
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Theresa said:
I hope it all goes well. It’s very irritating trying to deal with stuff when they piecemeal the requirements. It’s like they decide on a whim to ask for something.
You might want to get a copy of you birth certificate and you’ll want to have it apostilled. You send for it from the county registrar of your birth, then ship it to Sacramento to have it apostilled. Then you want it translated by a certified translator who stamps the translation with their official seal.
In case you don’t already know, it super important to have the CFE bills put in your name and your RFC number printed on the bill. Make sure the address or addresses are correct, no typos. You’ll need this when you sell, better to have it done now.
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Kim G said:
Hola Theresa,
Yes, I have thought about getting a copy of my birth certificate, though it seems like a ridiculous requirement for anything really. I’ve got a passport which states my place of birth and I’m clearly alive. (At least I think so.) As for the CFE bills, yes, definitely. I’m going to have to arrange service in my own name, and that’ll happen pretty soon. But I don’t have an RFC number (something else the notaria wanted). Can I even get an RFC number as a foreigner? Cheers and thanks for stopping by.
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Felipe Zapata said:
I would have pulled out long ago. Your patience, such as it is, is admirable. Buena suerte.
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Kim G said:
Thank you, Felipe. I’m going to write a letter to the notaría tomorrow making it quite clear that the documents better be correct because she’s getting only one shot at this. Cheers!
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