Dateline: Somewhere along the long and whining road
Driving in Mexico is neither for the faint of heart, nor the faint of wallet. I’ve long thought about writing a post about the insanely high prices one pays for tolls in this country. At this point, they’re neck-in-neck with gasoline, though the latter is gaining fast. On this trip, from Mexico City to Laredo, TX, I had planned to tot up all the tolls and report them in an appropriately aghast tone here on my blog. But given other events, I’m in no mood to tot up little, paper receipts.
I left CDMX about noon on Sunday. After a couple of hours driving, I was finally getting into open-ish road in the State of Mexico near Huehuetoca, when I came upon a Policia Estatal tailgating a big rig. At that point I noticed that I was running a little briskly so I slowed down well before I approached the cop. The truck and the cop were going almost exactly 80 KPH, about 50 MPH, right at the speed limit. So I tailed the cop at a respectful distance on this four-lane, divided highway.
In the USA, it is my policy to NEVER pass a cop, no matter how ridiculously slowly he might be going. Here? Passing cops seems to be commonplace, and I’ve started to do it myself. But I was wary. So I just stayed behind the cop. After about 10 minutes, many other cars passed this cop, fairly briskly, like at 90-100 KPH. After about a half-dozen or so had passed him, I figured I had the green light, so to speak. So I slowly passed him, maybe going 85 KPH as I did so. Then, once around the truck, I settled back to 80 KPH.
Well, no dice. The cop caught up to me and indicated that I should pull over. When he got to the window, he said I was speeding and showed me a radar gun which read 96 KPH. He said this was a very serious offense and carried a 6,000 peso fine. I said there was no way I was going that fast (I suspect the reading was from one of the other cars), and that besides, many other people had passed him going much faster. “Why me?” I asked. I noticed that his car, occupied by 2 other cops, was parked FAR behind me.
He didn’t answer my question. I continued to argue for a while, and finally said, “Fine, write me a ticket.” But at this point I was getting nervous because the entire purpose of my trip was to renew the temporary import permit of the car, and I wondered, nay, almost assumed they wouldn’t do it until I had the ticket paid off. So I asked if I could pay the ticket today, (Sunday) thinking I’d go to a magistrate or courthouse and just pay it. Then the cop said I could pay in cash there by the side of the road, but that it was a $7,000 peso fine. “Seven thousand? You just said six,” I said. “Uh, well, $6,800,” he said. It was pretty clear at this point that I was just being shaken down. So I started talking slower and dragging things out. But I was also thinking that because of the import permit issue, that he had the upper hand and that I just needed to settle this. So I said, “Well, I don’t think I even have that much. I usually use credit cards.” So I took out my wallet, and started to look through it. As it turned out, I only had about $2,000 in 500s, and he didn’t seem to be interested in small bills. We settled on the $2,000 and he said this would be entirely off the record. “Well, duh,” I thought.
So I just paid my first “mordida.” Not only was this upsetting for the obvious reasons, but you can’t drive on the autopista without cash, and I only had a few hundred pesos left. The next toll booth confirmed they don’t accept credit cards. So I ended up stopping at a half-dozen gas station plazas before finally finding an ATM so I could reload.
Jeeze, what’s a guy to do? I swear that cop ignored a good half-dozen cars whizzing by at much higher speed. Certainly I was the least of the offenders. But I’m a friggin’ foreigner, driving the wrong kind of car. On prior road trips, I had covered the rear Mercedes emblem with black electrical tape, and folded down the hood ornament. This time I had forgotten my stealth mode. I think it cost me.
Moral of this the story? I’m now only keeping a few thousand in the wallet, and any other funds in the center console or my pocket. The cop assumed (not incorrectly) that I didn’t have money in places besides my wallet, and he didn’t want to go so far as to follow me to an ATM. Anyone who has driven in Mexico knows that it’s almost impossible to obey all the various signs and directions. You can be on a highway in the middle of nowhere, and suddenly appears a stop sign for no reason. Stop, and you’re obeying the law. But you’re also likely to be rear-ended into the afterlife by a big rig. Same thing with speed limits. Suddenly a 40 KPH sign will appear as if out of nowhere, with no evident reason. Obey at your own risk. So I’ll just have to chalk it up to experience. Ni modo. I didn’t pay anywhere near $7,000 and it’s over.
Now I’m wondering what to do. As much as I want to report the mordida, to do so, I’d essentially be admitting to bribing a public official. Seems like a no-win situation, especially for a foreigner. What would you do?
El Gringo Suelto 
In our seven winters RVing in every state of Mexico, we were stopped three times for “The Bite”. Twice I perceived in denying doing any wrong, speeding in both cases as I NEVER speed in the motorhome, refusing to pay and boring them until the cops gave up on me and turned the “serious offenses” into “warnings”. The third time was in Morillia. I was driving in the curb lane, as you must in any dual wheeled vehicle. A left turn was coming up so I signaled a left turn and changed lanes. A motorcycle cop appeared from nowhere and pulled me over telling me there were no exceptions to the curb lane rule and that I must pay him $500 US! Ya, right! That wasn’t going to happen. He said the alternative was for me to follow him into the centro to the police station where traffic was heavy and there was no parking for large vehicles. While we were arguing my dear wife handed him $200 pesos and told him to spend it on his kids (it was December 23). He grabbed the pesos and instantly became our best friend, escorting us with flashing lights to my left turn, getting off and stopping traffic while I made my turn. I would not have paid him and he would have soon given up but it was good entertainment for her few pesos. However, given your circumstances, I certainly understand why you were anxious to keep your record clean. I also understand you can pay tickets at any OXXO store.
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Hola Croft,
Well, I think I’ll likely manage things better next time. I won’t have the pressure of the import permit over my head.
Man, you have some guts driving a motor home around Mexico. I can barely stand to drive my sedan. Thanks for the comment and saludos!
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You might want to consider the befits of pretending to not speak any Spanish. Both times I have been let go this is what I did and I got the sense they did not want to spend time trying to make me understand them when there were other gringos driving by who might be quicker to pay. The third cop actually knew quite a bit of English so my trick would not have worked.
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Hola Croft,
I have wondered about that, and wondered if it might get me in trouble later if they figure out that I do speak Spanish. I thought of it, but opted not to this time.
Cheers and thanks for stopping by!
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Comment moved to below Colm’s original comment.
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Are you sure the cop who stopped you was really a real cop? There are plenty of fake cops, all decked out in police apparel, driving vehicles all tooled up to look like the real thing, even accompanied by other fake police. I was stopped by one just outside of Comonfort a few years back, one who tried to tell me that the fine for not having my turn signal on would be $6K, because it was a serious, I’m telling you serious, serious infraction. And then he insisted that the cop shop was up in San Miguel de Allende, whereupon, I told him “let’s go,” reminding him that there would be filtros there, whereupon he changed his tune real fast, faster than you could hum a few phrases from Alice’s Restaurant, lowering his price, and then lowering it some more, and I finally told him I didn’t have time to deal with him any longer and handed him a 100-peso note and went on my way.
You were guilty of Driving While Gringo in that Mercedes with foreign plates.
No, no, no. You’re not going to report him. Or even a real cop. If you’re going to live in Mexico, you have to act like a Mexican.
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Hola Jenn,
No, I don’t know if he was a real cop. I have heard stories like yours, indeed one much scarier sent to me by someone living in SMA about 10 years ago. I’ve often thought about publishing it, as it’s quite incredible.
In any case, maybe my cop wasn’t real. There were 3 guys in the car, one in the back seat drinking what looked like a Big Gulp. Also the cop had no name tag or badge, which I probably should have asked for. And the car looked, uh, let’s just say “not obsessively well maintained,” though not a total junker either.
Yes, I probably could have handled it better. But I was freaked out about the potential impact on my car import permit. Either I’d have overstayed the car’s permit period, or maybe have had to return to EdoMex to deal with the fine, or some other wildly inconvenient scenario.
Cheers and thanks for the comment.
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Oh, Edomex. If Puebla is a prep school for crime, Edomex is a finishing school.
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You mean like ex-governors might move on to higher posts and more obvious bribes? Oh, bite your tongue!!!
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The alleged Atlacomulco Group kept things in order. We need them back in strength now more than ever.
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I’ve lived here 22 years, and I’ve been stopped by a cop for speeding just once, and I was speeding, i.e. guilty. It was just a couple of miles from the border. I too paid on the spot, about 300 pesos. You’re wondering what to do? Get on with life. There is no solution here in Alice’s Wonderland.
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Hola Michael,
Well, that’s basically what I did. Plus write an angry blog post. Cheers!
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I’ve followed your journey with a kind of fascination. But I’ve always enjoyed your slant and humorous look at things. Steve seems to have fallen off the map and I don’t follow Felipe any more, he was fun for a while but became tedious in recent years.
I don’t comment much on blogs these days but for a long time I had harboured the thought of buying a somewhat rumpled home and renovating it. I can now watch the havoc in real time.. without lifting a finger! I really fancied buying a hovel in Merida or Ajijic and rebuilding it to its former glory but my kids put the squeeze on that idea and my long suffering wife lived through one total reno and through a partial refurb at our last place of abode. The thirty grand was well spent though as the investment paid off handsomely.
Mordida is unfortunately a way of life in Mexico, a few years back on a bus tour we were raided by four unmarked vehicles who shaked us down before we could continue. A bit nerve racking for the load of ancient nervous Americans on board. Now it’s possible that it was an arranged shake down and everyone got a piece of the pie, the driver and the guide didn’t seem to be that uncomfortable but it did leave a bad taste in the wallet. Unfortunately as tourists they see us coming even in disguise or on a bus.
I suppose you were lucky to get off with just a third of the “fine”, it will still rankle for awhile, I find it hard to let go of such things but with police you are screwed either way. A few years back we were pulled over, we saw the flashing lights and assumed they were going somewhere and pulled in to a Tim Hortons to let them go, it turned out I had forgotten to put the new insurance tag on the plate but because we had pulled into a private parking lot they didn’t fine us. But that was here not in Mexico.
Looking forward to you regaling us with yet more derring do in your next instalment.. I’ll count the days, just kidding..
p.s.
Oh by the way how is your Mum doing in Ajijic?
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Hey Colm,
Somehow my reply didn’t get attached to your comment. Sorry. It’s above. Cheers
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Hey Colm! Thanks for the kind comment. I try to keep my posts entertaining. Otherwise what’s the point of either writing or reading them?
My home renovation is already an adventure. Some of my Mexican friends shake their heads, both for my presence in the country (“Why in the heck Mexico?” one asked.) and for the fact that I’ve bought a couple of decrepit houses. (“I’d just buy an apartment,” another friend said.) I’m hoping it turns into a decent investment, but we’ll see. I’m a little freaked out about inflation, and it’s comforting to know they can’t just print more houses.
The crime in Mexico is definitely disturbing. A friend who’s a legal counsel for a company told me about how the company once needed to take out a large sum of cash. The folks carrying the cash were robbed almost immediately upon leaving the bank. Of course the tellers were in on it, informing the robbers of the time and place. Sadly such things are common. I’d not be surprised if it was the same with your tour bus. Bus holdups seem like they’d be easy to fix if the authorities had the actual will. But they don’t, as they’re getting a cut. It’s frankly rather disturbing.
Thanks for asking about my mother. She’s had a number of problems in the last six months and has run downhill quickly. It’s heartbreaking to watch.
Thanks for your comment.
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