I can now add “minor criminal” to my list of Mexican achievements. Or at least scofflaw. Of course it has to do with the car, which has throughout my life been the source of minor run-ins with the law, mostly speeding, but the odd collision (none in many years now), and various parking violations. Of course, my record in Mexico had so far been pristine. Alas, I’m no longer a virgin, and I can give up all hopes of an image of my truck miraculously appearing on some campesino’s sweatshirt resulting in the establishment of an automotive shrine in my name on el Cerro de Tepeyac.
It happened Wednesday in Roma Norte, on Álvaro Obregón to be exact. After a somewhat harried drive from Tehuacán, and then a lucha libre with traffic in DF, I was understandably eager to get out of the truck and into some kind of café or restaurant. I parked and was immediately somewhat baffled by the parking meter. It’s one of those systems where you buy a ticket which you put on your dashboard. Simple enough. We have those in Boston, too. But I was somewhat foiled by the need to enter my license plate characters, since the keyboard only had numbers, and I’ve also got letters on the plate. But I put in the first three numbers and then left for lunch. Unfortunately, between lack of food, a harrying trip over the mountains from Puebla, the aforementioned lucha libre with the DF traffic, and a certain amount of emotional distraction, I basically got mixed up about exactly how much time comprised 75 minutes. You’re all probably thinking, “Duh, an hour and a quarter.” And that’d be exactly right. However, I wasn’t aided by the fact that the expiration time on the ticket printed out 18:56, which is simple enough, but military time foils me more than I’d care to admit. And my watch is set to Eastern Daylight Time, adding one more little calculation to my then-overtaxed brain.
Anyway, I left for a late lunch with a rather vague idea about when to return. During lunch, I answered the many kind comments you all left on my last post (thank you!), and somehow lost track of time.
And so, I got a parking ticket. Big deal, right? Well those of you who know DF, know that this isn’t just a matter of simply mailing a cheque some time in the next few weeks. Nope. In DF, they put a boot on your car for the first offense. So I came back to find myself “inmovilizado,” with a complex set of instructions printed on the letter-sized parking ticket.
Step 1. Find one of the listed stores or banks, and go pay the fine in cash. Easy enough, even if it’s a painful $538 pesos or $41 USD. ¡Ouch! That’s about 54 times the value of the second coin I should have dropped. Oh well.
Step 2. Call the phone number listed on the ticket and tell them that you’ve paid the fine, and where the car is. Even though I consider myself pretty fluent in Spanish, this part was the hardest. I had to navigate my way through various touch-tone options which seemed to go by pretty fast. The fact that the only public phone was right next to a pet store chock-full of yapping dogs didn’t help. When I got to a real person, I immediately pled, “I’m a foreigner. Please speak slowly.” By the way, if you don’t speak Spanish well, don’t park on the street, because if this happens to you, you’ll never get your car back.
Step 3. Wait in or by the car until the guys show up to un-boot your wheel. Show them the receipt for payment. This actually wasn’t too bad as they came in about ten minutes, though their demeanor suggested that I had committed a far more serious crime than having parked 20 minutes longer than allowed.
Step 4. Leave said parking spot at the height of Mexico City rush hour just as a torrential downpour begins. Spend the next forty minutes driving to your hotel which is eight blocks away. Try to stay calm as people behind you honk furiously, goading you to block the intersection on a yellow light.
Step 5. After your car is safely parked at the hotel, find a bar, order a double-margarita, and write a blog post to purge the horror of the experience.
And that, folks, is one of a long list of reasons why you really are much better off here without a car.
teguzchical said:
Holy Frijoles! After reading the post and the comments, I realize I don’t want to drive in Mexico City. In our capital in Honduras, the BEST places to park are generally marked, No estacionar. No one will ticket you. I always park in front of those signs when picking up friends at the airport. I have never got a ticket here, either. Once someone tried to hussle some $$ from me, a young traffic cop. I refused to exchange $ unless he gave me a receipt. Finally, after lowering his bribe several times, he sped off. I like Honduras, sometimes.
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Kim G said:
Hola Teguzchical! What a funny anecdote! But based on what you’ve written on your own blog over the years, I think I’d much rather drive in DF, especially if I could park in Honduras. You know, one of those “best-of-both-worlds” kind of things. Saludos and thanks for stopping by!
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Cat said:
Kim, the adventures in México never end, do they? 😉 Years ago, I remember parking in the wrong place in Playa del Carmen and when we came back to the combi, there was a note in the window saying to go to the police station and pay the fine and then they would give us back our license plate which they were holding. So, where are you off to next?
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Kim G said:
Hola Cat! For that very reason I attached my license plates with special anti-theft bolts. So far they seem to be working. As for my plans, I’m headed to Guadalajara and then probably back to Boston. Saludos.
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Kim G said:
PS. It’s not unheard of here for license plates to be stolen by souvenir hunters either. Heck, in Boston I once had my motorcycle plates stolen downtown during normal working hours. So I’m a big fan of the special bolts.
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William said:
¡Ay, Dios mío! “Parquímetros” were installed in the Roma and Condesa neighborhoods fairly recently, and they are a pain in the backside. I was in D.F. when the issue was being debated, and there were demonstrations and signs posted by residents all over the neighborhood against the parking meters. I don’t know if there was actually an election, but I suspect the government intended to put the meters in regardless of the residents’ opinion.
At least what happened to you is minor compared to what happened to my friend Alejandro a few days ago. He was driving in the city, and a cop car (no flashing lights or siren) ran a red light and plowed into the passenger side of his car. Of course, the cop claimed he had the green light. Alejandro’s insurance agent arrived quickly, and advised him not to press charges since his car would be impounded for the duration of a lengthy trial. Fortunately Alejandro was not badly hurt (can’t say the same for the car), but he has a sore neck, and his doctor has him wearing a neck brace for 2 weeks.
¡Cuídate mucho!
Saludos y abrazos,
Bill
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Kim G said:
¡Ay, Bill! I’m so sorry for Alejandro’s mishap. That’s double bad luck–getting hit, and by a cop no less. Thank God he’s not seriously injured. F, my ex, was in a similar T-bone crash last fall, but fortunately he wasn’t hurt, and he was in someone else’s car. Thanks for the comment, and salúdame a Alejandro. Saludos y un abrazo.
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babsofsanmiguel said:
You are WAY braver then I. No way Jose would I drive in DF! I don’t even like to ride with others who know where they are going………I so hope you get out of there safe and sound. Glad this was an easily resolved (or so it seems) situation. Onward…….
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Kim G said:
Hola Barbara! I think this may be a case of fools rushing in where angels fear to tread. That said, I don’t think I could have done it without having lived in Boston these last 19 years. Boston is the worst place to drive in the USA. By far. Saludos and thanks for commenting.
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Lee said:
So you’re a real Mexican scofflaw! I’ll bet it shows in your newfound swagger and maybe in a slight sneer that suggests “I’m a badass.” Will you be getting a tattoo?
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Kim G said:
Lee: I’ve already had a “no parking” symbol tattooed onto my left bicep. So when I roll my cigarettes into the sleeve of my T-shirt everyone will know I’m a badass. Just keep that in mind so if some day we meet up, you’ll know what to expect. Saludos.
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ladyofthecakes said:
Aw, what a rigmarole! Surprised they turned up that quickly though 😉
And yes, I find that phone conversations are hardest. I’m no longer breaking out in a cold sweat beforehand, but I do tend to avoid them if I can…
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Kim G said:
Hola Simone! The worst part of the phone call was the voice commands, ie, “if you’re a pinche gringo, press one.” Once I got to a live person, it wasn’t bad. But the phone is definitely a kind of milestone in language acquisition, something people on the other end typically don’t realize. Saludos and thanks for stopping by.
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Margareta Conley said:
Your blog made my day. I laughed until I was exhausted from laughing. You are so much fun and so informative. English is my second language and I am 85,so this is short. Grete C.
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Kim G said:
Hola Grete! I’m glad I made someone laugh!!! Thanks for the lovely comment and welcome to El Gringo Suelto!!! Saludos!
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Felipe Zapata said:
Ha! You got off easy, brother. I have unwittingly mal-parked in Mexico City twice. I did not get booted. I got towed. The first time, we had to get a taxi to the pound. On arriving there, we were asked for my wife’s drivers’ license since the car was registered to her. Whoops. The license had expired. First, she had to renew her drivers’ license, which was done fairly easily the next day, so the car spent the night in the pound. The new license was one that NEVER expired. Something done during AMLO’s reign and has since been phased out. No matter. She now has a DF license that never expires. We did get our car back.
The second time, we parked and were walking up the street about two blocks away when we saw the car sail by on the back of a wrecker. They had probably actually watched us parking in a bad spot. We hailed a taxi real quick who followed the wrecker and caught up with it. The wrecker pulled over. The cop driver pulled out a credit card gizmo and we paid on the spot, and he dropped our car.
Both times I saw no sign whatsoever that I was parking in a prohibited space. Nada.
Mexico City regards parked cars as its prime source of income. To say that you must be very vigilant is a major understatement. They are parking Nazis.
For that and other reasons, I simply do not drive in Mexico City anymore. Get there on a bus and get around in taxis and peseros.
The only accident I have had in 14 years in Mexico was in Mexico City. Best to avoid.
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Kim G said:
Hola Felipe! Yes, I guess I did get off easy. I lost about a half hour and the aforementioned cash, but as your stories illustrate, it could have been a WHOLE LOT worse. Saludos!
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Tancho said:
Now I know why I have seen so many bolt cutters laying on the rear seats of cars in DF.
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Kim G said:
LOL, Tancho!!! For a split second, I seriously considered trying to just get the araña off of my wheel, but then immediately realized that 538 pesos was money well spent compared to the trouble that might have landed me in. But if I were a genuine scofflaw, that would have been the way to go. Saludos and thanks for stopping by.
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Croft said:
Well Kim, my advice comes too late. Our Mexican lawyer friend warned us, “Do not take a vehicle into the DF!”. Between the complicated Hoy No Circula rules and the over-eager transitos with the bait of a foreign plated vehicle, you are better off parking outside of town and using buses.
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Kim G said:
Hola Croft! Wise words as always. “Hoy No Circula” has been in the back of my mind, and now that I’m preparing to leave, it’s a new worry. That said, the transitos here appear to have been completely uninterested in me. (Gracias a Díos!!!) And I’m hoping that I could talk my way out of an “Hoy No Circula” fine if necessary. Of course there’s no guarantee of that, but the argument that you’re a tourist seems fairly compelling. Saludos and thanks for stopping by!
P.S. The fact that MA plates are white means they don’t totally stand out from DF plates. Of course the color of the lettering is different. “Rifaré mi suerte.”
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Croft said:
For a gringo you do blend in fairly well, mi amigo. Our lawyer friend was very concerned that we were thinking of driving our motorhome, dolly and tow car through the DF on the highway. This combination of three licence plate numbers would violate the Hoy No Circula rules no matter when we went and the 50 foot long combination of vehicles would be an invitation to the transitos. His solution, if we insisted on that route was to let him drive (he is a former government prosecutor) and do our transit between two and four in the morning. His wife would follow to take him back home.
Common sense won out and we took the Arco Norte bypass. We have yet to visit Mexico City but when we do, it will be without any vehicle.
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Kim G said:
Croft: Forget about parking, hoy no circula, or transitos. You’d be nuts to try to drive such a rig into DF no matter if you got a grant of immunity from Peña Nieto himself. Seriously. If you’re going to take your car, that’s feasible, but DF is a REALLY tough place to drive. Saludos and thanks for all your helpful comments.
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